Author: webmaster

Another shattered memory:
More scars on my arm,
Blood stains on the carpet,
Glass embedded in my hand.
The dull ache of forgiveness;
The endless march of regret.
Forever is a lie.
Reckless optimism, my reply.

Shock stops the pain;
Fear clots the blood.
Adrenaline tires me.
I’ll sleep in my sweat.

Wellness is a sickness,
An organic holistic wet dream.
It’s all we have left:
You can’t cure the patient
Because you don’t own the patent.

Alien immigrant stretch
Worsening your familiar letch.
Intelligence recession,
Rhetoric abuse:
Perfection is uniform,
Perfection is safe,
Perfection is easy.
Perfection is mass produced and plastic packed.

Route round it.
Slice it away.
This is evolution not nuclear erosion.
Progress is nothing to fear.

These things pulling at my head,
Tearing at my heart
Confuse and dishearten me.
These things without names,
These things without form
Dizzy and then leave me alone,
Alone with everyone around me,
Alone
Pulling hair, pushing teeth,
Wrapping in clothes,
Making pretty,
Making nice.
Alone.
Alone.
Alone.
Alone.
There must be people out there,
Not just dull machines
Pre-programmed what to think,
Steered by media remote control.
It is just a noise to me,
Your infatuation: a sad mystery.
Every word I say is a lie.
Every word is a goodbye.
The novelty is lost on me.
The end: a childish fantasy.

You’re dirty, but I like it.
Can you feel it? I’m coming.
I can see you. I can see you.
Full of blood, so much blood
Sent straight to my head, straight to you.

Oh god, I need you, forever, for this moment.
Can you feel it? I’m coming.
Holding on cause guilt follows,
But right now, we are beautiful.

Sweating and wild, no control: I am abandoned, I am free,
There is no one I would rather be.
Can you feel it? I’m coming.
I’m not breathing; I don’t need to.
My heart is pounding.
This is all I ever want to be.
Can you see me? Can you see me?

Find something to hold on to.
Deeper and deeper.
You’re screaming; I’m screaming.
We can feel it. We’re coming.

Can’t get closer, but we need to.
Want to hold it, but I’m afraid to.
Let it flow over me, over you.
Hold me for the moment.
Let me go; you remind me
It’s now just a fading memory of how good life can be.

Pain: my beautiful friend.
I’ll never wake alone again.
A caffeine bomb to kick-start my heart,
A shot or two to make it all alright.
I cover you and hold you;
I smile when I walk.
Music paints my mind
And tags my memories.
I need a tactile pushing
Whilst I am tasting death.
Poison my poison, my dear,
Whilst I dress to impress.
My impersonation of a person
You ill-advisably do bless.

Smell my fingers,
Taste my blood
Whilst a sobering thought vibrates my leg:
No hope springs eternal
When you are falling fast;
All there is is the promise
Of a crashing break of bone.

From the bottom of my pit,
I hear you calling for the blood of some unknown enemy,
But all the adrenaline does is tire me
And darken once bright skies,
So let me take your hand my dear
And dance the day away
Then curl up with me salted
And fired with feet of clay.
Through the night I’ll hold you,
And at break of dawn,
I’ll wake up, not alone, but with my pain.

I can’t remember how it starts.
Close my eyes; join the dance.
All those books, all that art,
Were warnings not some fucked up dot to dot.

The green man says go go go.
Everything bollocksed.
In my head, success is tied to making money.
It is easier not to be good.
Judge your life not by your own standards
But by how many possessions you’ve got.

Words pour like water,
Much thinner than blood.
Try to remember what is honest.
Try to remember what is honest.
False flattery covers nothing,
But you are not allowed to be true.
You can’t just say I love you,
Much less, I really really want to fuck you.
There has to be all this careful planning,
Stupid games and romance and stuff.
We can’t just mate like lions on the Savannah’s grass.
People like pretence;
Any excuse not to look into the abyss.
A hand to hold,
A face to blame.
What is it that you want me to say?

Adrenaline junkie whore,
Anything as long as it’s a cheap thrill.
Experinence as much as you can,
As long as it’s prepackaged and perfectly safe.
Lick the lid of life,
As long as someone else has worked out the expiration date.

This buzz ringing in my ears,
This jealousy stealing at my soul.
I wish I could love the world you see.
I wish I could fit and be happy.
Dreaming of a needle pricked death,
Everything screaming,
Bouncing off a car bonnet,
Smashed to pieces by a train,
Choked and drowned and left to die:
All light gone from once innocent eyes.
A purple blossom of pain.
People remembering for a time then no more.
Everything gone.
A watcher seeing no more than before.
Starting is hard, but ending is harder.
Just because.

Ink drips, like blood from a wound;
The melody is some strange infection.
I’ll let you be my smutty nurse;
I’ll let you touch me where it hurts.

Ink drips, like blood from a wound;
The meter pumps it out so much neater.
I’ll let you watch me as I sleep;
I’ll let you dream of someone else.

Ink drips, like blood from a wound;
Pretty patterns on a page.
You’ll try, but you’ll never understand;
I’ll try, but I’ll never understand.

Ink drips, like blood from wound
Slowly congealing into shapes.
I can see you floating off in space;
I can see me chained to the earth.

Ink drips, like blood from a wound.
Then it stops.
Everything important, now, forgot.