I can’t remember how it starts.
Close my eyes; join the dance.
All those books, all that art,
Were warnings not some fucked up dot to dot.
The green man says go go go.
Everything bollocksed.
In my head, success is tied to making money.
It is easier not to be good.
Judge your life not by your own standards
But by how many possessions you’ve got.
Words pour like water,
Much thinner than blood.
Try to remember what is honest.
Try to remember what is honest.
False flattery covers nothing,
But you are not allowed to be true.
You can’t just say I love you,
Much less, I really really want to fuck you.
There has to be all this careful planning,
Stupid games and romance and stuff.
We can’t just mate like lions on the Savannah’s grass.
People like pretence;
Any excuse not to look into the abyss.
A hand to hold,
A face to blame.
What is it that you want me to say?
Adrenaline junkie whore,
Anything as long as it’s a cheap thrill.
Experinence as much as you can,
As long as it’s prepackaged and perfectly safe.
Lick the lid of life,
As long as someone else has worked out the expiration date.
This buzz ringing in my ears,
This jealousy stealing at my soul.
I wish I could love the world you see.
I wish I could fit and be happy.
Dreaming of a needle pricked death,
Everything screaming,
Bouncing off a car bonnet,
Smashed to pieces by a train,
Choked and drowned and left to die:
All light gone from once innocent eyes.
A purple blossom of pain.
People remembering for a time then no more.
Everything gone.
A watcher seeing no more than before.
Starting is hard, but ending is harder.
Just because.